Bears Interested in Manning
No, not that Manning. No, not this one either. This Manning, restricted free agent Ricky Manning, Jr., of the Carolina Panthers. The Bears want him to play Nickelback. (No, not the band.) In looking over a list of available free agents back in February, I name-dropped Manning as a potential target. So I'm all for the move. Mike Mulligan of the Sun-Times dropped this line into the article speaking about the Bears infatuation:
The Bears will look for ways to make the contract challenging for the Panthers to match.
Are the Bears going to sink to the level of the Vikings and Seahawks and put a Poison Pill into the contract? Hmmm, let's get creative here:
1). If Manning plays in a state that does not have two professional baseball teams, his $50 million dollar contract will be guaranteed. Nah, can't do that one. A lawyer could collect mounds of evidence suggesting that the North Siders shouldn't qualify as "professional."
2) If James Taylor ever wrote a song about your team's location, a $20 million dollar bonus will kick in to cover any potential hearing damage.
3) If the first name of the team's head coach was never used as a term of affection for his wife by billionaire Thurston Howell III on Gilligan's Island, Manning is to receive $100 billion dollars.
I'll go with option 3. Get it done, Jerry, get it done.