Crosstown Classic: White Flag
The Cubs face the White Sox this weekend in the first Crosstown Classic of the summer. On paper, this is a total mismatch. The White Sox have the second-best record in the majors at this point, behind division-mate Detroit. The Cubs are coming off a recent stretch of misery, but they did take two of three from the crappy Nationals. (How sucky are they? More on this series in a moment.) You know, I'm not feeling down enough on the Cubs lately, so let's trot out the old standard and compare the teams, position by position.
1B: Konerko over Todd Walker - Lee would have won this and Walker would have won second, but hey, dem's da breaks.
2B: Tadahito over Neifi Hairston - duh
3B: Crede over Aramis - Aramis should be winning this one hands down, but he's been awful and Crede's been awesome.
SS: Cedeno over Uribe - WOO! We got one! WOO!
RF: Dye over Jones
CF: Pierre over Anderson - Shocking, but one of the bigger reasons for the Cubs sucktitude actually beats the ChiSox starter.
LF: Podsednik over Murton - This one's actually pretty close, but Pods has a slight edge in everything.
Bench/DH: Thome just beats out Mabry here. Barely.
SP: I'd say Zambrano loses out to Contreras, Maddux and Buehrle are close, but the Sox win the rest easily, even with a lousy Jon Garland.
Bullpen: Dempster, Williamson, Eyre and Howry actually win this one over Jenks, Cotts, Politte, etc.
Manager: Guillen didn't win that World Series on accident. If Dusty ever wins one, it will be on accident.
Comparing the stats, the White Sox lead in every positive category like Runs, BA, OBP, 2B, 3B, HRs, ERA...just to name a few. The Cubs lead in Simulated Games and Towel Drills.
By my calculations, the Sox win this comparison, 9-3. Even then, the "3" for the Cubs were all squeakers. I'd look for the Sox to take at least two of three in this one, maybe even a sweep. No joy in Wrigleyville this weekend, folks.
As for the Washington series that just wrapped, it was really nice seeing the Cubs toss back-to-back shutouts in the first two games of this one, but I look at that Nats lineup and cry. If the Cubs are pathetic, the Nationals are wretched miserable stinkfests. And of course the Cubs lost to the stinkbombs today, with a little help from Juan Pierre and Neifi Perez. Both were outright miserable in this one, with Neifi inexplicably bunting into the last out of the game with the tying runs on base. Whose brilliant idea was that? Nice to see Woody, though, even if he did get lit up for 3 bombs. The good news is he didn't walk anybody and had 6 K's in his five innings of work. I think after two or three starts, he'll be fine. Then by mid-July he'll be back on the DL. Oh, and if the day couldn't get any better, the Cubs signed suckmeister Tony Womack to a minor league deal. Good times!
PS. I included "White Flag" in the title of this post as a benefit for the Sox fans in our audience. You're welcome.