Today, Ryan Braun of the Brewers became the second guy within a month to rip Chicago Cubs fans. Two weeks ago, Marty Brennaman called us the "most obnoxious fans in baseball" when fifteen baseballs were thrown onto the field after a meaningless Adam Dunn home run. Personally, I found that incident rather amusing, provided it was a one time thing. Eighth inning of a Cubs blowout, a meaningless solo shot, time to throw it back. Instead, this one time, a whole bunch of balls came back. It reminded me of some low-grade SNL humor. Or an Austin Powers type of joke. Don't get me wrong, I don't think they should do this every time. In fact, I never want to see it again. It's not really safe, and there'd be a 10-minute delay every time an opponent hit a home run. But that one time, in that situation, I thought it was kind of funny.
Anyways, Ryan Braun piled on today. After Kerry Wood blew another save to the Brewers, Braun was quoted as saying how sweet it was to come back and beat the team in front of these fans, talking all about how rowdy they are and stuff. These aren't the first two guys to suggest that Cubs fans are obnoxious either. Which leads me to the title question of this post. Are Cubs fans all douchebags?
Well, obviously, the answer is no. We're not all douchebags. I guess I should be asking, "are the majority of Cubs fans d-bags?" That answer is more tricky.
There's no doubt that when you go to Wrigley Field, you're going to run into a fair amount of idiots. That is, as I like to say, FACT. But really, I think its just a numbers game. The Cubs have something like eight million fans across the United States. (source: my ass) While I made that number up, it certainly seems within reason, doesn't it? The Cubs easily are in the top three for road attendance every single season. Only the Red Sox and Yankees are in the same league, so to speak. And then Wrigley sells out something like 95% of all games. Even weekday day games in April sell out. Fox prepares for their highest ratings ever on the rare occasions that the Cubs make the postseason. Popular team.
So lets say 10% of all people are d-bags (or idiots - I'm kind of sick of writing the "D" word at this point.) Ten percent of eight million is a lot of idiots. The Reds have, say, two million fans. So the chances of you running into an idiot Cubs fan as opposed to, say, an idiot Reds, is dramatically higher. There's just so many more of us out there.
But what about the fact that there are only 40,000 people in the stadium at any given time? It sure seems like a lot more than 10% of the patrons in Wrigley would be excellent candidates for hotchickswithdouchebags.com. So that would make the concentration of d-bags higher, right? Cubs fans are d-bags!
Wrong. I have a theory for that. Cubs tickets are like, impossible to get. Not impossible, but difficult to be sure. Expensive, too. If you want to go to a Cubs game, you basically have to log on to cubs.com on a cold February day and sit in a virtual waiting room for nine hours in the hopes of scoring tickets to one game. After the first weekend of sales, every single weekend, night game, and mildly interesting matchup is sold out. Who has time to spend all day in the VWR? Who has the sort of disposable income to go to a dozen Cubs games a year? Not the 32-year-old with a mortgage and two kids. It's the 24-year-old, fresh out of school, that's who. I know, I was that 24-year-old at one time with disposable income. I went to a dozen games a year in those days. Not anymore. Too much money. Now I go to 3 or 4, tops. So part of the reason that you see a higher percentage of d-bags at Cubs games is a simple "age" issue. The same drunk frat boy that just got out of college will eventually grow out of his wildness and stop being a d-bag when he's in his 30s. (I hope, or we're all screwed.) But by that time, he'll be heading to the ballpark less.
Further, Perry brought up the fact that you don't see families at Wrigley any more, while you still see a lot at the Cell. Also, true. That's mostly because of the reasons I listed above. Expensive tickets, hard to get. The family patriarch that's a casual baseball fan might want to take his family to a baseball game, and he doesn't really care which team he sees. Does he go to whitesox.com the day before and grab four upper deck seats for $15 each or stubhub and get four seats in the family section at Wrigley for $100 a pop. Not a tough choice, but if he wants to see the Cubs that's pretty much his only choice. So there's more families on the south side. That 24-year-old, flush with loose cash, has all the tickets. (On top of that, who wants to explain to their 4-year-old boy what a "troth" is? Not me.)
Another reason, the national landmark/national fans bit. Thanks to WGN going national in the 80s, there's a lot of younger Cubs fans across the country. They're particularly prevalent in a place like Iowa, where they don't have a major league baseball team (and the Cubs minor league team to boot). So they constantly have these bus tours going to and from the park. So you sit on a bus with 80 guys, letting loose, drinking, get to the park for your one trip a year, and you absolutely tear it up. You're not driving anywhere, you don't care. You don't have the luxury of "acting like you've been there before", and you're not going to be there again for a while. So you tear it up, and thus, act like a bit of an idiot. Its OK. I understand. But it does bring the overall image down a bit.
And of course, as stated above, Cubs fans travel well. The same "this trip is rare and I'm going to tear it up" rule applies.
So that's it in a nutshell. The Cubs fans at the "world's largest beer garden" tend to be a little more douche-riffic than other ballparks but it's really just a numbers game and not an accurate representation of the fanbase in general. It just seems that way. Most of the Cubs fans I know are respectful, hard-working, excitable die-hards who want nothing more than to see the Cubs win a World Series. Screw the goat, forget Bartman, just freaking win. But you can't deny how we must appear to outsiders. Reputations are tough to beat.